October 30, 2020

Podcast 19: 14 Ways to Be Fearless

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Fear and Uncertainty Solutions

Top Books on Emotional Intelligence

Podcast (Audio Only)

In this episode Joanne Williams, LCSW discusses 14 way to be fearless

Summary of today Podcast: 

  1. Review why we have fear and how to get to Fearlessness
  2. Why we celebrate at Halloween even with fear
  3. 14 ways to be Fearless
  4. A Fear to Fearless Course coming out in January

       Question for today is? Is fear “locked in” forever.

We know with change, there is uncertainty and fear or anxiety.

If we don’t like fear,…. then why do we like Horror films and scaring each other at Halloween?

Maybe we understand that facing fear can really help us.  Or Understand that we can use exposure therapy which is to flood your senses with fear so that your senses can’t stay at that high level.

Lets look at 14 way to be fearless from lifehack.org article. By Anthony Mazzocchi

We all have fear – it’s an emotion that’s as normal as breathing.

The problem is that most people cling to their fears and are therefore unable to move forward in their lives with necessary change Mazzocchi says.  As a therapist, I understand that it is not that we consciously cling to fear.  It is that our brain is stuck in fear and clients with panic or PTSD can’t get it unstuck.

Mazzocchi reports that he has learned a lot about fear in his  life as a professional musician, and He learned that the only difference between people who achieve greatness and those who do not is that the former ditched their fear.  Many of the methods he has used to prepare for huge performances have helped me to conquer fear in other areas of life.

Here’s how you can start overcoming fear:
1. Be aware of fear in your life. Before you can begin overcoming fear, you have to admit that you have it. Perhaps fear is your “normal” state of being, and that is quite a bit to overcome all at once.  Write down some aspects of your life where have fear;  getting them down on paper is important, because trying to simply think them through never works.

  1. Stare at fearless people. Fill your brain with images of what you want your “future self” to look like.  Connect with as many role models as you can, whether in person, through a book, or online.  Use these examples as an energy source to combat your fear.
  2. Be objective.Take an interest in investigating your fears. Ask yourself about what thoughts generate your fear, where you feel the fear, and how you react to it. Try to be an objective observer of your own life.
  3. Be willing to look stupid.  Remember:  Wayne Gretzky fell on his tail a ton, and Itzhak Perlman has had horrible performances.  Once you are willing to risk the emotional pain of making mistakes, you will shed more fear than you ever imagined.  Know that making mistakes will help you obtain information you use to create the correct behaviors, and that everyone who has ever done something great has failed more than once. I say to do it as young as possible, it seems easier that when you are an adult, when you “should “ know better. Or encourage your kids to try different things or be willing to make mistakes that lead to life lessons.
  4. Adopt a gratitude mindset. Whenever you feel fear, try to feel grateful instead. He had been performing a lot of solos recently, and it is scary!  Instead of freaking out, He have decided to be grateful for the opportunity to communicate musically with so many people, and he knew that they are there to genuinely listen to me play and root me on. Listen to how he is CHOOSING to replace the fear with gratitude.
  5.  Seek out teachers.  It’s never too late to have a teacher; we are never done learning.  Seek out someone who scares you a littlenot a polite person who always makes you feel warm and fuzzy.  Seek out someone who watches you closely, is brutally honest, and gives clear directions on how you can get better at whatever scares you. They aren’t going to hurt you, they will stretch you.
  6. Share.How often do we hold the negative in, because we are afraid of how others might react?  Sharing helps, because you will realize that many people feel the same way as you do, and have stories to share as well.  Do you have a fear of success, or a fear of failure?  Sharing with someone can help you examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from and how it is stopping you from getting your goals.

Instead of focusing on the fear which will increase it, if sharing is done to understand how that person handled it, or what they learned and moved through, is a great way to understand how someone else handles their fears.

  1. Embrace struggle.  Most of us instinctively avoid struggle, because it feels like failure, and that scares us, but the term “no pain, no gain” holds true.  To develop skills, it is a necessity that we struggle, so we must embrace it.  Once we struggle, fear slowly disintegrates because you face it. Another article was saying that many of our young adults have been “Coddled” and now have not learned how to tolerate feeling fearful. This puts them at a disadvantage at college if they need a “safe space” to cope, because they haven’t learned other coping skills with conflict, internal or external.
  2. Read.This is Mazzochhi, personal favorite. Reading a good book related to your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. He likes to constantly fill his world with motivational and inspirational books on, and related to, the topic I’m dealing with.

I really love this one too.  Continual emotional education keeps your mind and emotions in check.  Even if you just read a few pages each day.  Read something that moves your emotional intelligence forward.

  1. Use visualization.Imagine yourself in a scary situation without fear. Watch people do things fearlessly that would normally freak you out.  Visualize yourself as that person.  Create a very clear picture of fearlessness in your mind with you in it. Our brains don’t know the difference between actual or virtual.  Train your brain to be ok with something that is out of your comfort zone.
  2. Put things in perspective.Putting your negative thoughts in perspective is a huge way to overcome fear. In the grand scheme of life, why are you afraid? While you are freaking out about something, life is moving on without you.  Sometimes it’s helpful to remember this. Or think what I will feel like in one year, if I don’t learn to cope now. A hint: it only gets worse with more age because you have more experiences to be fearful of.
  3. Release control.Of course, we want to be in control, but when we relinquish it we tend to free ourselves up.  Allow yourself to make mistakesafter all, that’s where learning and growth really happens.  We learn from our failures, but to fail we need to release control. You will only let go when you have more to gain than lose. Refocus on what is more important than keeping control.
  4. Think about the worst-case scenario.What’s the worst that could happen? Mazzocchi say he has crumbled on stage in front of hundreds of people. My wife still loved me; I lived. Life goes on. Know that it will never be that bad.
  5. Look within.What is the root of your fear? Meditate on it. Look inside and ask yourself when the fear started: How far back does your fear go? Did you have an early failure that has stuck with you?  Explore it.  That’s what life is all about. There is the much more than Marchocci explains here, when We have had things happen to us, our emotional brain protects us with fear to stop us from doing things that might hurt or kill us.  Looking within and replacing your fear with reassurance is a way to work on your fear.  Usually you need a professional if you can’t change this yourself.  Reach out. 

I will be launching a course to Get off the Bench and into the Game of Life, to go from Fear to Fearless starting in January.  I will be sharing very targeted ways to aim at your specific goal in our 6-week guided path to show you the direct route, using 3 secrets, that no one talks about.

I will share, these success strategies that include Universal laws that must work, they are laws, when used with clarity, intention, and focus. 

There is more to life than what You can see right now. Fear has its ways to limit your focus and only see what you can’t do.

With these simple secrets, I will show you how to turn a can’t into a Can, go from the fear brain that holds you back to Being fearless using your logic and analytical part of your brain to  engage your higher mind, to reroute from your fear or emotional brain to put you back in control.

Marchocci says that Overcoming fear requires a growth mindset; an attitude that we can grow and change if we choose. Nothing is “locked in” forever; we can change.  It takes time and practice.  Hopefully, the tips above will help you begin your journey to ditch fear.

I agree, that to unlock your fear, you will need to do your own heart-core inner work.   But it is possible and in this experiential workshop you will be able to understand and work through your fear.

All of our podcasts at AS are designed to assist you overcoming anxiety, so I hope you will listen to let us know what else will can help you.

Happy Halloween and don’t let the Election distract you from what is important in your life or let fear rule.

Join the Conversation

Our favorite part of recording is answering your questions, from Facebook at AnxietySimplified5.  Leave comments in the comment section, we will answer on a Podcast on that subject.  So, listen for your question.  Or share it with someone who may be helped with that answer. 

Our next podcast: Living an Awesome life with Karen Stultz

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