Podcast (Audio Only)
Feeling Confident Comes from Acting on What you Want Despite feeling Afraid
5 Ways Feel More Confident
Joanne Shares that there are things that we can do to feel more confident whether dating, at work or in life in general. We all want more confidence.
While everybody knows what it feels like to lack confidence, here’s the thing most people don’t realize about how confidence works:
It is subtle habits in our lives that chip away at our self-confidence and add to our insecurities.
But, if you can learn to identify and eliminate these confidence-killing habits, you’ll find that you’re naturally more confident than you realize, it builds confidence.
1. Trust your Gut- But you must act even with fear.
Confidence is built: You have to practice to get better at something.
One way to look at these examples is that if you had felt more confident, you would have been able to act and get over it.
Mel Robbins technique 5 second rule- is to only give yourself 5 seconds to act or your fear will take over.
Don’t over think it- act.
Feeling confident comes from acting on what you want despite feeling afraid.
2. People pleasing-But sometimes fear of conflict leads to many smaller — though not necessarily less significant — sacrifices:
Whatever the details of your specific situation, here’s what you need to know about being a people pleaser.
When you habitually prioritize other people’s wants and needs before your own, you train your mind to devalue itself.
Think about it: if you never stand up for yourself, who is going to? You will never feel confident unless you start today! Only say yes when you mean it and If it is good for you and the other person and you will create a win win that always helps you to walk away full.
- Worrying about the future
Our capacity to think about the future and imagine hypothetical scenarios is a wonderful skill and tool. It can get us prepared and ready for the task. It is a productive way to look at the worry to get prepared and then let it go. If the worry continues then you will need to set boundaries with yourself when it is no longer productive or helpful
- Worry is unproductive problem-solving.
If you spend time thinking about something that either A) Isn’t really a problem, or B) Isn’t a problem you can do anything about, you’re likely to end up worrying. Which means you’re getting all of the side effects of negative thinking like stress, anxiety, or panic with none of the benefits of genuine problem-solving.
Worry gives you the illusion of certainty. But in the end, all it does is fragilize you.
It makes you feel like you’re at least doing something. But it’s all a mirage. And in the end, all that worry and anxiety just chip away at your confidence.
Better to face up to your fear of uncertainty with confidence than live in denial about it.
One study in Science Direct revealed that 91.4% of worry predictions did not come true. The most common percentage of untrue worries per person was 100%.
5. Ruminating on the past
Just like worry gives the illusion of control over the future, rumination gives us a sense of false control over mistakes and losses in the past. Unfortunately, it can also lead to self-criticism, depression, and low self-esteem.
When you invest all your attention into yesterday, you have nothing left to invest into today. It is like trying to drive looking through the rear-view mirror.
Accept that you are helpless to change the past and you will have an easier time letting go of your tendency to dwell on the past. And when you do that, your confidence is sure to rise.
This is by no means a replacement for therapy of any medical attention if you need it. Always reach out and take care of yourself or if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, there is always someone standing by at 1800-273-8255 or call 911.