Patience and Resilience for Thanksgiving with or without Family
Podcast (Audio Only)
In this episode Joanne Williams, LCSW discusses the Nature of Mastering Patience, especially with Thanksgiving that might be without family at this Holiday.
Summary of today Podcast: Some things that we can do this Thanksgiving without our families getting together as we usually do. Resiliency, nurturing Patience are keys and doing some things that relieve stress.
- How we handle impatience comes with a high price if we don’t learn how.
- Are you afraid of being bored?
- Patience is a choice-
- Turn your impatience to Good Use
Question for today is? How can I change my impatience to being more patient?
Dr. Amad Massud from the Mayo Clinic Reports on CBS Sunday Morning on 10/25/20 says It is important to Master our Impatience for multiple reasons.
In a study it was found we are afraid of being bored so much so that 70% of participants in the study would rather receive an electric shock than be bored.
The opposite of Patience is not Impatience, it is anxiety, Illness, injury, addiction, Loneliness, and death. These are some of the high prices we pay for Impatience. You may say that this is extreme? Impatience creates anxiety as we wait. Loneliness with Covid isolation, because we want to get out of our houses more, it can cause Injury because of impulsiveness, road rage, increased addiction from the stress of changes from Covid and fears of succumbing to it, increase in deaths from explosive angry, that then can Increase heart attacks by 2-8 fold for the next few hours. This is serious. Have you noticed how your body feels after you get really angry? I have felt my temples pulsing and a surge of cortisol and adrenaline that almost feels like I have to “come down” from it. I am an impatient person, so I am really practicing these things, because I didn’t realize the damage this can do.
Impatience evil twin is stress. The stress of everyday life and your reaction to what happens to you in your everyday routine can increase blood pressure and changes to your Heart Rate. Think about waiting for a plane to come in, or not knowing what is happening to some one, impatience and stress have negative effects on our emotions and our physical body. Even For several hours after the call.
Impatience can have an effect even on our chromosomes. At the end of chromosomes are telomeres. From blood samples shows that Stress makes the telomeres smaller. Which when we have shorter or smaller Telomeres it shows aging of the chromosomes from stress. One thing that impatience does is increasing aging.
There are things that you can do to lower your impatience and stress. So lets talk about those:
Not having control over things on the outside can increase stress and impatience. But, we can Choose to be patient. Helping yourself live longer, happier, look younger and helping your family also live happier life by choosing to look at ways to increase your patience. Your life may depend on it.
Maybe your thanksgiving family gathering is at your sister’s house with her weird husband or “crazy uncle” Ed who drinks to much. Waiting for the food to be ready, can’t watch football in your favorite room and chair, because company is using it. Can you feel the impatience and gritting of the teeth starting and the tightening of your sphincter? You are just trying to get through the day.
This is a test of your ability to have patience and cope when your routine messed up, can’t have your favorite chair or the of your favorite team to watch that calms you down. Well, have a few drinks as you way to cope. Which lowers your inhibitions, and you say something that is hurt, that mays everyone uncomfortable.
Or worse, you can’t go to the traditional Thanksgiving, because of Covid. You are left alone or just you and your SO and you both just sink into your own corners and are sad and lonely.
1.How about make a coping plan before the day for what you can do?
- Create a new tradition. Something you want to do or some food that you never have because it isn’t “traditional”. Create Something to look forward to.
How does being ungrateful and stubborn about tradition ever Bring anything good things to the Table?
- Plan or think though what you CAN do. Take a drive to a scenic place. Take a brisk walk in the woods with the dog. Sit in nature for a while.
- What would feel exciting to you. Make it happen. Think about it and plan it.
- Enjoy doing something together with your SO that make you laugh, a new game or cooking a new recipe, just to smile and laugh, no pressure.
- Make something romantic and soothing with music or dancing. Karaoke
- Invite someone who makes you feel good when they are there.
- “If your heart is broken, make art with the pieces."
― Shane Koyczan
- Resiliency can fire up your body. You don’t need to have fist fights with the corona virus, you can empower the billions of immune cells to fight with this virus and when you are resilient your immune cells are stronger in waging that war for you.
- Turn on your impatience to good use. If you want to. You can make a choice too. Make a decision to make yourself more relevant by learning and training ourselves about patience. Rise above impatience. Do this for yourself and your family. You will all be better off for it. Not with “white knuckles” to get through it truly find 1 thing you really can enjoy and make that bigger and fulfilling.
- Think about the harm that impatient does to your body. Your Increased Blood pressure and increased Heart rate and even your stress hormones. And resiliency training can lower your Blood pressure and Heart rate and cortisol level and boost you mood dramatically.
5.What is resiliency training? According to the Mayo clinic, “Resilience is your ability to adapt well and recover quickly after stress, adversity, trauma or tragedy. If you have a resilient disposition, you are better able to maintain poise and a healthy level of physical and psychological wellness in the face of life's challenges.
If you're less resilient, you're more likely to dwell on problems, feel overwhelmed, use unhealthy coping tactics to handle stress, and develop anxiety and depression.
You can develop resilience by learning to train your attention on more-positive aspects of your life. You use purposeful, trained attention to decrease negative thoughts in your mind and bring greater focus on the most meaningful aspect of an experience. It is being flexible and thoughtful to the complete experience not just what you don’t like
Resilience training focuses on four areas, including emotional, cognitive and mental, physical, and spiritual resilience. Training in these areas can improve your resiliency, enhance your quality of life, and decrease your stress and anxiety by teaching you to view life's inevitable challenges as opportunities.”
- There is a Japanese practice called Forest Bathing, being in the Forest allows us to be lost in the moment, where nothing exists. You can walk in a park. We respond to Nature. If you can be in Nature for just 15 minutes, it can help you master resiliency. Science is clear that just 15 minutes of walking in green space or a park lowers BP, HR and stress hormones.
- Even Virtually in meditation can work as well.
- Slowing down your life, will help for you to notice more that is around you. Give you a chance to enjoy more and appreciate what nature give us.
Rise above impatience, during this pandemic even without family for the Holiday and find ways to include family on Zoom, have them set a place for you anyways to be thought about and missed and have some fun with family in other ways.
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